One of my weaknesses most definitely is being too nice. This is why I get taken advantage of by others easily. And an unfortunate by-product of this weakness of mine is being naive. I hate that word. I've hated it since my sisters called me it years ago. And I've tried to stray away from it as much as I help since then. But ironically, the nicer I am, the more naive I become. Why is it so difficult for me to just stand up for myself, and even be mean to people. The only person I can think of that I have actually done this to is my own mother. Otherwise, I think I've tried to be nice to everyone I know in my life---which is hurting me more than it has ever helped me. I've stood up to Anh and Xuan, and my mother, and even Jesse when there was that risk of being taken advantage of, but I've never really actually just stuck it through, I've always given in somehow, in forgiveness or in naivetivity. And Dan hates that about me. He hates that I am too nice to people, that I don't have the heart to see people for who they could really be but for how I expect them to be (as nice as me). And it's a negative thing.

He pointed this out to me when I became upset again over my willingness and extra effort in creating P90X dvds for my coworkers, Nikki and Candy. He doesn't like the fact that I am spending extra time on something so unnecessary, and that he can see me get taken advantage of easily. He took Marty as another example. Now that I can agree to, but the P90X example I didn't. The Marty situation disgusts me, and I will try everything in my power to stay away from him. I hate myself. I hate myself.

I always want to please people. I always want to be nice. I always want to do the right thing though. I hate this. I need to learn the difference between doing the right thing (for myself), and being mean.

It doesn't give Anh an excuse for being as pathetic as she is though.